Q: Why did the U of M regents decide to cover the Big House in cardboard?
A: Because the Wolverines always look better on paper.

Q: How many University of Michigan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Michigan weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: What’s the best thing to ever come out of Michigan?
A: US Route 23

Q: Did you hear about the University of Michigan fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn’t get his family out.

Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Did you hear about the Michigan fan who tried to blow up the Ohio State Buckeye team bus?
A: He burned his lip on the tailpipe.

Q: Why don’t U of M football players sink in the Great Lakes?
A: Because crap floats…


A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a Michigan joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Michigan alumnus. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2 tall, weighs 225, and he’s a Michigan alumnus. The fella next to him is 6’5 tall, weighs 250, and he’s a Michigan alumnus. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?” The first guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it 3 times.”


A Buckeye fan, a Wolverine fan, a nun and a stunning blonde are riding on a train. Suddenly the train heads into a tunnel. A loud smack is heard and as the train rides out of the tunnel the Wolverine fan is rubbing his face. The nun thinks: “Serves him right for trying to grab the blonde.” The blonde thinks: “Serves him right for trying to grab the
nun.” The Wolverine fan thinks: “The Buckeye fan was probably trying to grab the blonde, missed her and grabbed the nun instead. Then she tried to smack him in the face and missed.” The Buckeye fan thinks: “Next tunnel I’m going to smack that stupid Wolverine fan again.”


Michigan is on the Ohio State 5 yard line in the closing seconds of a game tied 14 – 14. Jim Harbaugh prays for inspiration. He looks to the heavens and says “God what play should I call.” God answers “throw a flat pass to the right”. Harbaugh calls the play and it is intercepted and returned all the way for a touchdown giving Ohio State the win. Harbaugh once again looks to the heavens and says “God why did you call that play”. God pauses and says “Hey Woody why did we call that play?”